


The Hack Job

by Chash



Series: Tractorbeam [23]
Category: Leverage, Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-29
Updated: 2011-09-29
Packaged: 2017-10-24 04:23:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/258967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chash/pseuds/Chash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new video game starts turning geeks comatose.  Hardison takes it personal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hack Job

**Author's Note:**

> For [](http://la-perkins.livejournal.com/profile)[**la_perkins**](http://la-perkins.livejournal.com/), for Sweet Charity. Plot points liberally borrowed from [the .hack games](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/.hack). Takes place after Jared and Jensen have moved to Vancouver.

"So I guess this'd be more of a favor than a job," is how Hardison starts. "Not that it's not a job, cuz these dudes? They're bad dudes," he adds. "But they were bad dudes at me, so it's a favor too."

"What happened?" asks Sophie. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, don't worry about me. Just got a friend in a bad way. Nate's gonna let you know what's going on."

Nate stands and starts the show. "CyberConnect," he says, "also known as the CC Corporation. At the forefront of virtual reality development. Their--" he glances to Hardison. "What's it called again?"

"MMORPG," says Hardison.

"What's that?" asks Parker.

"Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game," says Eliot instantly. He realizes what he said a minute later. "Jesus," he comments, with a glare toward Hardison. "I should not know this shit."

"How is that my fault?"

"It's sure as hell not Sophie's fault."

"Leave me out of this," says Sophie.

"Back to the point. CyberConnect is in the beta run of it's new--MM-whatever, The World. Hardison, you better explain what makes this thing different."

"Pretty much, you got your standard video games, from Pong to World of Warcraft. Complexity aside, they're all from what CyberConnect calls the old school--you play 'em on the screen, right? CyberConnect is working The World as the first MMORPG with virtual reality--you strap a headset in on and you're in the game. Which explains the lame name--whole new world."

"Needless to say," Nate says, "this means your brain is a lot more involved than it is in Pong. So involved that this game is actually putting people in comas."

"Comas?" says Sophie, eyes wide. "From a video game?"

"We can't prove anything," says Hardison.

"People playing this game go into a coma. What is there to prove?" asks Parker. "It's obvious."

"See, that's what I'm thinking," says Hardison. "But medically speaking? Ain't nothing to prove it isn't one big coincidence. Plus, it's not like we can get a lot of communication going on between cross-country coma geeks."

"Additionally," Nate interjects, "the terms of service are also very cleverly worded. It's clear that CyberConnect knew there were risks involved in their project, and they were very careful about what's covered in the agreement all beta testers agreed to."

"No one reads those anyway," mutters Hardison.

"And this is personal because you were duped?" asks Sophie, sounding wary.

"It's personal because my friend's in a coma," says Hardison, "and I'm not down with that. So let's do this thing, right?"

*

Jared is not exactly surprised when Sandy shows up at the hospital in Vancouver.

It's only been two days, even if Jared can't really think of it in those terms. Jensen is in a fucking _coma_ ; Jensen is lying in a bed, eyes closed, face pale, freckles dark like a disease. There's no only about it. It feels endless already.

If Jensen were to never wake up, Jared doesn't know what he'd do. It's scary to be unable to picture his life without someone in it. He's only twenty-three, he's not supposed to be in over his head like this.

"Hey," says Sandy. She rubs his shoulders, turns it into a hug when he leans his head back against her chest.

"Where's Chad and Gabe?" It's kind of awesome to have good friends like this; he misses them in Canada. Maybe they'll move someday soon.

"Downstairs. I could barely talk them into letting me in."

"Me too. I'm marrying him the fucking second he wakes up," says Jared. "No more family only bullshit."

He hasn't said _if_ yet. If he said that aloud, it would--he doesn't know.

He can't think of it.

"Chad says Jensen's friend Alec is down there too. I don't really like this whole revenge plan, you know."

"It's not just revenge," says Jared, staring at Jensen. "It's saving other people. It might be--" he swallows. "I have to do something," he says quietly. "I have to know something's happening.'

Sandy kisses him on the top of his head.

"I always knew video games were a bad influence," she says, lightly.

Jared manages a smile. "Yeah. So'd my mom."

*

Jared has to leave the hospital for the meeting with Hardison's--whatever they are.

He's never really been clear on who Hardison is or what he does. He knows it's illegal and questionable, but Jensen doesn't object to it, and Jensen is paranoid about the law, so Jared figures he must be good at it. Or Jensen is just really dense and doesn't realize anything is going on.

Donna, Jensen's mom, is staying in the hospital room while Jared goes. He didn't tell her where he was going, just that he needed a break, and she accepted it. She has no reason to suspect that he hired Jensen's internet criminal buddy to get revenge on CyberConnect.

He's glad they met before this, glad that she already liked him, thought of him as part of the family.

"Are you okay?" asks Gabe softly, when Jared gets to the car they've rented outside.

"You talked," he says, blank and confused. He doesn't have the brain power for this.

Gabe flushes. "Sandy's been helping me," he says, and Sandy squeezes his hand and smiles.

"That's--congratulations," he says, smiling tiredly.

"Some dude in Singapore woke up," says Chad.

"What?"

"First guy who got CC'd? He's awake. Hardison just called."

Jared exhales. "Oh."

"He was under for a week. We're still trying to get details. CC is shutting everything down pretty fast."

"We need to login to the game itself," says Jared. "Right? That's where we're going to be able to communicate."

Sandy bites her lip, plays with Gabe's hand.

"We need to meet these bitches," says Chad finally, and Jared knows that means _yes_.

*

Nate's first impression of Jared Padalecki is positive. Not because the kid's got one of those likable faces--even if he does--or because he's got a firm handshake and shy smile, but because Nate recognizes the look in his eyes, like his entire world is in the balance, like if this goes wrong he doesn't know what he can possibly do.

Like if he loses this person, he's lost too.

Nate got into this business to help people like him, and it's a heady feeling that they could _stop this_. That this guy and his boyfriend can still be saved, not just avenged.

"The problem is that we don't want to just destroy this company," says Nate, once everyone is seated.

"I pretty much just want to destroy them," says Jared.

"Maybe we can pee on them after," adds the blond kid, Chad.

"You want to get your boyfriend out of his coma, don't you?"

Jared swallows. "Oh. That. Yeah. I--yes."

"Now I am all for bankrupting this company and dancing on their grave," says Nate, "but if there's a possibility that we can get an answer for what went wrong? We need to get that first."

"The second dude who went into a coma's in Singapore," Hardison interjects. "Out for a week."

"Second?" asks Jared, panic clear in his tone. "I thought--what about the first?"

"First is Natalie Young in Stanford, Connecticut," says Hardison, scanning his notes. "No change."

Jared slumps in his seat. "We need more information," he says petulantly. "Maybe someone--something happened? Someone did something?"

"I think," says Nate carefully, "we're going to need to take this on from two directions. Sophie, Hardison, Eliot, and I will go to California to take down CyberConnect. Parker, you're going to stay in Vancouver and help these guys find out what they can about The World in the game."

"Me?" says Parker.

"How come Parker gets to do the video game stuff?" asks Hardison. "Nate, man, that is all me. Come one!"

"Hardison, we need you at CyberConnect so we can access their systems. We don't have another hacker on the team."

"I'm a hacker," says Chad.

"You are not," says Jared.

"Okay, the beautiful part of being a hacker? You can be one anywhere," says Hardison. "I give you the right hardware and you can send me their data anywhere. Even Canada."

"I'd rather have Hardison around," says Jared hesitantly. "No offense," he adds with a smile to Parker, like she cares, "just. We know Hardison."

"I don't want to spend time with you either," says Parker, shrugging. "You can have Hardison."

"I'm going with him," says Eliot.

Nate raises his eyebrows. He should probably talk to Eliot about Hardison sometime soon. He's not sure exactly what he's going to say, but it seems like something to mention. How to not make the whole team awkward with your new gay love, or something.

"Why?" asks Parker.

"Because it's him and a bunch of geeks." He pauses. "And Jared. If something bad happens, I don't trust him to get the job done."

"And Jaybird only counts as half a person," Chad adds.

"What the fuck, Chad," says Jared, looking irritated.

"Dude, I meant--Jensen's out, you know? You're not fully functioning without him," says Chad, with a kind of sincerity Nate suspects is not entirely in character.

Jared deflates. "Oh. Yeah."

"So, Eliot and Hardison will stay here, Parker, Sophie and I will go to California to meet up with CyberConnect."

"I'm not sure about this, Nate," says Sophie. "I think we need someone with some kind of computer expertise at our disposal in California. Hardison is working his own case; what if we need him and he's busy with the game?"

Nate considers. "It's a good point," he says.

"I really can hack stuff," says Chad, after a minute. "I double-majored in Comp Sci and Engineering, bitches."

"Okay, great," says Nate. He's ready for this meeting to be over, already. "Chad, you'll come with us to California."

Jared mutters something. It might be, "Your funeral."

Nate hopes it wasn't.

*

"So," says the squinty blond one. He's smirking. He has something on his left canine. It's brown. "Come here often?"

Parker stares at him. "It's a plane," she says.

"It's a club," says the squinty guy.

"No, it's a plane."

"C'mon, you must've heard of the mile-high club."

"Chad," Sophie interjects.

Squintly looks squintier. "What?"

"Parker is not joining the mile-high club."

"It doesn't even have a disco ball," says Parker. She pretty much hates clubs, but disco balls make them better.

Squinty pauses. "Is she, like--okay?"

"She's crazy," says Nate. He has a lot of those miniature bottles of booze. Sophie has been trying to steal them, but she's not a good thief. Parker has stolen three, mostly because she can.

"I wish we had Hardison instead," says Parker. Hardison doesn't squint.

"Can we just get along, please?" says Nate, drinking one of his bottles. "Just sit down and shut up and let's all try to get through this without bloodshed."

"Whose blood's going to get shed?" asks squinty.

"Yours, probably," says Sophie.

"What?"

"Parker is not going to sleep with you."

Parker is, admittedly, not going to sleep with him.

"You wouldn't hurt me, would you, baby?" asks squinty.

"It depends on what you did," says Parker. "I'm not ruling it out."

Squinty sits down, shuts up, and tries to get through this without bloodshed.

Parker smiles and steals another bottle from Nate.

*

"Every forum thread about the comas is getting nuked on sight," says Hardison, fingers flying over the keyboard. "None of them even got a response. My sockpuppets are getting banned, too. Even the ones I worked hard on. Like, this one? She's going to Vassar."

"Yeah, I'm crying for you," says Eliot.

"So what are our other options?" asks Jared. "Do we have anything except logging in?"

"How does logging in help?" asks Eliot.

"In-game, they can't shut down dialogue," Gabe explains. "Someone could report us to a mod, sure, but they'd take a lot longer getting in, and it's more likely the player base will be on our side."

"If we log-in, there's a non-zero chance we're gonna go into comas," Hardison points out.

"Here's a thought," says Eliot. "Any of you geniuses know what Jensen was doing when he went under?"

"He was checking out--some dungeon," says Jared. "He told me which one, but it was pretty much all Greek to me."

"Could you recognize keywords?" asks Gabe.

"Keywords?"

"In The World, all dungeons are identified by three keywords," Gabe explains. "So if you looked through the list, could you find it?"

Jared thinks for a minute, nods. "Yeah, probably. But I'm not in the beta."

"You could login on Jensen's," says Hardison.

Jared winces, slightly. "I guess he's not using it, right?" He forces a laugh. "Yeah, I could--probably show you guys, I guess?"

"So everyone's going under but me?" asks Eliot.

"I'm not," says Sandy. She doesn't look particularly pleased with the plan, but they need information.

Jared gives her a shaky smile. "Gabe doesn't have to come."

Sandy rolls her eyes. "He played all the time anyway. I'm not thrilled, but--" she shrugs. "Just be careful."

Jensen's headset is on the table. Jared looks at it like one might look at a cobra.

"How does it work?" he asks.

"It's pretty easy," says Gabe.

"Except when it puts people in comas," Eliot mutters, and Hardison elbows him.

Gabe fiddles with the headset, attaches it to Jared. "Once I turn it on," he explains, "you should see the login screen. Jensen's information should all be entered."

"Okay," says Jared. "Do it, I guess."

"Switching it on now."

There's a silence.

"Nothing's happening," says Jared.

"What?"

"I don't see anything."

Gabe takes the thing off and puts it on himself. "He must have broken it."

"So, what, these things break and you go comatose? Jesus," says Eliot.

"You can login on mine," says Gabe. "You and Hardison can see if you can find the right dungeon, and we can see if there are any posts about it in the forums. Or any disappearing threads."

"Right," says Jared. He's still staring at Jensen's headset, like it has all the answers, and it's a long time before he pulls himself out of his thoughts.

*

Jared has never been a gamer, not like Jensen and Chad and Gabe are, and his first glimpse of The World is surprising. He knew what it was like from screencaps Jensen had showed him, but it's still a shock to be _in_ a virtual world, to see fake hands in front of his face, a pixel world in front of his eyes.

"Gabe! Jesus, where the fuck have you been?" says Jensen.

Jared blinks. He turns and there's--well, there are a ton of avatars milling around. He doesn't know what Hardison's is named, or what Jensen's was named, and he thinks he must be crazy, but he says, "Jensen?!" anyway.

"Jensen?" asks Hardison. "What?"

"Jared?" asks someone with Jensen's voice. There's a din all around, other people talking about quests and gold and hooking up, and Jared can feel his hands sweating around the controller.

"What the fuck," says Jared, runs toward the outskirts of the group around the portal. "Jensen! Get the fuck over here!"

"Why are you Gabe?" asks one of the two characters who followed him. It's a guy blue hair and a couple knives. It's completely unfamiliar, but it has Jensen's voice.

"Why--Jensen, you're--Jensen?"

"Yes? Dude, I fucking--I can't sign off."

Jared wants to hug Jensen, but he's not--this isn't _real_. There isn't a control for that. It's not possible, and it wouldn't help.

"This is screwed up," says Hardison.

"You're in a coma," says Jared.

" _What_?" says Jensen. "Wait. Seriously? Is my brain stuck in the game?"

"Yeah," says Jared softly.

He watches Jensen's avatar freeze and look at him. "Oh. God. Jared--" he reaches out, abortively, and Jared wonders if when he smiles sadly, his avatar does it too. He doesn't know.

"We're gonna get you out," says Jared.

"And then we're gonna bankrupt the company and piss on their ashes," says Hardison.

"Huh," says Jensen. "As long as you've got a plan."

*

Eliot wishes Jared could see this as the positive that it is--that is, they've got a man on the inside. Overall, in fact, Jensen being trapped inside a video game is one of the best possible outcomes they could hope for, strategy-wise. He's a lot more useful than he would be if he was just in a coma. He's able to ask people things, get information, and communicate about his final minutes. They have the name of the dungeon he was heading to and more leads than before.

Not that he doesn't understand the ways this doesn't help. It'd suck if your boyfriend got stuck in a video game forever.

"So someone should be logged to talk to Jensen," says Hardison. "Check in with him, see if he's got any news on the coma stuff."

"What are the rest of us doing?" asks Gabe.

"I'm working on tracking down an e-mail for the dude in Singapore who woke up," says Hardison.

"Can I go back to the hospital?" Jared asks quietly.

"But Jensen's here," says Gabe, dumbly. "I mean, he's in there."

Jared shrugs jerkily, and Eliot thinks he gets it. Hardison sometimes tries to convince him that World of Warcraft is the same as regular human interaction, and it's not. When Eliot's with someone--not that he has ever been with someone who plays World of Warcraft, thank you very much--he likes to be able to touch them.

It'd drive him crazy if his boyfriend's--girlfriend's--body was in a bed somewhere while his brain was in a video game.

"I just--I'll," Jared starts, gesturing abortively.

"Go," says Sandy gently. "We'll call you if we get any news."

Eliot watches him go. "All right, Hardison, anything on the forums?"

"Fora," says Gabe instantly.

"Jesus Christ," mutters Eliot.

"Nothing that isn't getting shut down. Someone better login, talk to Jensen. He's gonna be investigating and we want to know when he finds stuff," says Hardison.

"I'll do that," says Gabe, already strapping on his headset.

"I'm gonna check out what I can find on the dungeon Jensen was trying to get to," says Hardison. "Forums--" he glances at Gabe. " _Fora_ on that might still be okay."

"I don't know any of you," Eliot says.

*

Nate hates Chad Michael Murray.

More disturbingly, Parker seems to kind of like him. After the long, awkward plane ride, they've ended up being kind of friends. Nate doesn't want to know.

"I'm kind of a big deal, like, in the engineering world," Chad is saying. "So, yeah, totally rich."

"He's lying," says Sophie, absently.

"Potentially rich," Chad corrects.

"Can we focus?" says Nate. "Your best friend is in a coma."

"All right, Nate, what's the plan?" asks Sophie.

"The mark," says Nate, "is Shugo Kunisaki. He's the head developer behind the virtual reality technology used in The World. If anyone knows why people's brains are going a little crazy with this thing? It's him."

"What's our angle?"

"The same angle we always have," says Nate. "We gotta be worse people than they are."

*

"Mr. Kunisaki," says Sophie smoothly. "My name is Morganna Hoerwick, with Aura Enterprises. We are fascinated by the advertising opportunities presented by your virtual reality system. I was wondering if we could . . . chat."

Kunisaki smiles wide. "I'd be delighted, Ms. Hoerwick."

*

Chad is fucking _stealth_.

Also, he's sneaking around behind a hot chick in, like, skintight black clothes, and that's awesome. It's like they're fucking awesome ninja partners or something.

Chad should look into a life of crime full time. This is way more gangster than engineering.

"Hardison left detailed instructions," says Parker. "Don't diverge from his plan."

"But I'm awesome," Chad protests.

"Hardison is better," she says. "He's the best."

"Maybe you just haven't had the best yet, baby."

"We're not doing anything here. We're getting the data back so you and Hardison can work with it."

"But I get to work with it, right?"

"If Hardison lets you."

"How come he gets to pick?"

"He's on the team, not a client."

Chad clucks his tongue as he hooks up the USB drive. "So you ever get, like, high on adrenaline and hook up after this?"

"No," says Parker. "No one else is sexually available."

"What about Hardison?"

"He and Eliot have a thing."

Chad blinks. "Dude, why is everyone I know gay? Is it me? Am I, like, gay catnip?"

"I doubt it," says Parker. "Is that done yet?"

"Good things take time, baby. Let it load."

"Not everything is about your penis."

"Like hell it's not." He considers. "You're not feeling gay, are you?"

"No."

"Fucking _score_."

Parker ignores him.

For now.

*

From an academic perspective, it's kind of interesting.

Jensen is completely unaware of his real body. He thinks that, somehow, his awareness, whatever makes him _him_ , was stuck in the game, and was completely cut off from his physical self. He doesn't understand how this happened, which upsets him. Gabe said Hardison was going to look at the company's data--Jensen really hopes they can get blueprints of these headsets, because he wants to see how they work. He can always take his apart, when he wakes up.

If he wakes up.

He tries not to think about Jared, which is hard, because most of his time he thinks about Jared. Jared is his first association for everything. He doesn't know what to say to make Jared feel better, because the only things he could say that would help wouldn't be true.

He's been wandering around for days, without any real luck. He found himself getting tired a few times, and he slept in-game, which was bizarre. The entire thing is weird, but kind of cool, and if it wasn't for the people outside who love him, he'd probably be enjoying it. It's kind of awesome.

Now that he's checked in with the real world, he has an idea what he's looking for, what he needs, and he's been putting out feelers, asking anyone with information about the comas or the glitched dungeon he visited to come find him.

He doesn't have any luck with it until what he thinks is the fourth day of his coma.

"StringJumper?" asks someone behind him.

"I don't want to trade," says Jensen instantly. "Or cyber."

"Neither do I. I have information for you."

Jensen turns. It's a heavy blade, bikini top and skin-tight leggings; he thinks the female avatars are supposed to be sexually appealing, but he doesn't quite get it. They seem more cute than sexy.

"Information?"

"My friend," she says, "was in a coma."

Jensen swallows. "Was?"

"Have you tried logging back in?" she asks.

"I can't log out," says Jensen. "How would I log in?"

"Your headset isn't plugged in to you, is it?"

"How would I know, I'm in a coma."

"I'm trying to help, jerk. If you have friends, try to get them to plug you in. That worked for my friend."

"Really?"

"Swear to god."

"Huh," says Jensen. "Thanks."

"If it works? Spread the word."

Jensen smiles. He thinks. He wonders how much his avatar registers, since his real face can't do anything. "If it works, I don't think my boyfriend will ever let me near this again."

"Oh. Yeah. I guess not."

"But I think we'll do something good. Why are you back?"

"I'm just here to get the word out--I heard he wasn't alone, you know?"

"Yeah," says Jensen. "Thanks." He pauses and then says, "We're going to get help."

"How?" she asks.

Jensen shrugs, smiles. "Connections."

*

Jared can't bring Heisenberg to the hospital, which makes sense, given she's a dog and Jensen's in a coma. He mostly leaves her with Sandy, which makes him feel bad, because he knows that Heisenberg misses Jensen, and it's unfair of him to make her miss him too. But he can't--he wants to be happy talking to Jensen online, but it's too weird. He's still on edge, still scared that Jensen will never wake up. And he'll take Jensen stuck in some weird computer reality over no Jensen--god, he'll fucking take it and be grateful--but he needs to see Jensen is still breathing, wants to be there in case he somehow, miraculously, wakes up.

He wants to be able to touch Jensen--he can't feel like Jensen is okay unless he can hold on to him.

Still, he goes home once a day to walk his dog, to make sure she knows he still loves her.

It's nice, in a way. The sun is shining, Heisenberg is hyperactive and happy to see him, and he can stop thinking for a minute, stop worrying.

Then he gets back and Gabe shoves something at him.

"Huh?" says Jared, catching the object--a headset--without noticing. "I need to login?"

"No! You need to get to the hospital and put that on Jensen."

"What? Why?"

"Someone who knows the guy in Singapore who woke up told him that's what worked."

Jared stares at it. "And we trust them?"

"It shouldn't be able to do any more damage."

"It shouldn't have been able to put him in a coma in the first place," Jared counters.

"He wanted to try," says Gabe softly, and Jared isn't sure if he's reverting to shyness or just trying to be gentle.

Jared's hands are shaking around the headset.

"Okay," he says. He takes a breath, closes his fingers softly. "Okay."

*

"Jensen might wake up," says Hardison. "What do we have from the CC guy?"

"I'm plugging in your drive now," says Parker.

"Wait, Jensen's waking up, what?" asks Chad. "How?"

"We got a lead from Singapore," says Hardison. "You sending the stuff?"

"Sending," says Chad.

"Sophie's working him over," says Parker. "If your friend wakes up, we can probably shut the game down anytime."

"If this works we don't wanna kill the game until we wake up the other coma victims."

"Why not?" asks Parker.

"Jensen's stuck in the game," says Hardison. "Still logged in. If we shut down the game? Who knows what happens to the coma victims."

"Shit," says Chad.

"The longer it stays open, the more people can get hurt," Parker points out. "I don't like this plan."

"Chad, see if you can find admin passwords for the fora. We get those, we can stop them shutting down all the coma talk and get some real information out there."

"Got it," says Chad. "So wait, Jensen's been in the game this whole time?"

"Yep."

"Shit, he's gonna be so fucking leveled."

"I know, right?" says Hardison. "Some people got all the luck."

*

Jensen knows he's in his body because he feels very heavy. It turns out when you're virtual, you don't weigh anything.

"Ugh," says Jensen. He thinks. He makes a noise, definitely, and then the warm thing on his hand becomes closer and heavier. The weight is familiar.

Jared.

Jensen blinks his eyes open slowly. He can't see yet, just white and blurs.

"Jared?" he tries.

"Thank fucking god," says Jared, his voice thick. "You're marrying me."

"I am?" asks Jensen.

"Yes. Fuck you, yes."

"Do we have a witness? We need a witness. And a priest."

"Not right this minute."

"Oh," says Jensen. He can make out Jared's face now, blurry and grinning, teeth standing out against his skin. "That's not news," he adds.

"Well, we're gonna plan it," says Jared. "We're getting a date. Sending out invitations."

"Why now?"

"You kidding?"

Jensen coughs. His body feels fucked up. "I nearly died. Now is a bad time for this. If--something bad happened again, it'd be easier for you if we weren't any closer."

Jared laughs shakily, like Jensen is amazing. Jensen always feels amazing around Jared, and not because he's so smart. "Jensen," says Jared. "There's no fucking way it's possible for me to be closer to you. But _if_ this happens again? I won't have to bribe the doctors into letting me see you, since I'm not family and all."

"Oh," says Jensen. "You should probably call the doctors."

Jared's instantly all concern. "Oh, man, I shouldn't have--how are you--"

Jensen squeezes Jared's hand, and Jared slumps down into his chair, squeezing back.

"I thought I was never gonna see you again," Jared says quietly.

Jensen wants to say something comforting. But he doesn't have anything. "Yeah," he says. "I know." He squeezes Jared's hand again, turns to smile. "I'm doing okay."

*

"Jensen's awake," says Hardison.

Eliot glances over. "Wonderful. Can we kill this company and blow this joint yet? Canada is giving me hives."

"Dude, don't tell me you're allergic to our neighbors in the north."

"Everyone's so fucking _nice_ ," Eliot mutters.

"No can do on the shutdown," says Hardison.

"Why not?"

"Jensen was stuck in there, man. The other coma victims might be in there too. We kill the game--"

"We kill them. Great."

Hardison glances at him. "What're you doing here anyway, man?"

"Helping."

"Yeah, cuz this is really where you're most helpful. Who's more likely to get attacked, me up here with the geek squad, or everybody else who's actually breaking in to a criminal corporation?"

"You've got worse luck," says Eliot.

"I don't think that's it," says Hardison.

"I don't really care what you think."

"See, I think you like me. Wanna spend a little extra time with me. Y'know, in private."

Eliot rolls his eyes. "Sure I did."

"If you're gonna do shit like that, we should at least make out or something," Hardison comments.

Eliot raises his eyebrow. "You ever successfully gotten laid with lines like that, Hardison?"

"I let my hot bod do the talking, man."

Eliot snorts.

Hardison climbs into his lap, which Eliot had not seen coming.

"C'mon, man, Jensen's getting laid, Gabe's getting laid, I'm feeling left out."

"Here's a clue, Hardison. You want to get laid? Don't talk about those guys."

"Gotcha," says Hardison, and he stops talking.

*

Jensen wasn't in the coma long enough that he had too many medical complications, which is shocking to Jared. It felt like forever that Jensen was gone, like he'd never come back, like Jared's entire life was over. But it was only a few days.

"I'm fine," Jensen protests, as Jared wraps an arm around his waist. "Seriously, Jared."

"I was scared," says Jared. "Just let me."

Jensen leans against him, giving in bonelessly. "I'm sorry," he says.

"Yeah, like we saw that one coming," says Jared, kissing the top of Jensen's head.

"I don't--if you didn't marry me," says Jensen carefully, "you wouldn't have to worry about things like this."

"As far as dangerous lifestyles go, yours doesn't even register, Jensen," Jared points out. "I once dated a guy who had a motorcycle."

"You'll never date again. No more dating ever. You liked dating."

"No, I really didn't. I didn't date because I liked it, you tool. People date to get what we have."

Jensen shifts, sighs.

"You're always talking like--like you're deficient," says Jared. "Like I'm missing out on something because I'm with you."

"You are," says Jensen promptly. "Monogamy means you're missing out. You can't get everything from one person."

"I'm not--" Jared huffs. "Maybe I'd get different stuff from other people. But I'm not _missing_ it. I don't want anything else. I just want you."

"I know," says Jensen.

"We don't have to get married," says Jared. "I just--I want to, man."

Jensen doesn't reply. Instead, he twists around, leans up and catches Jared's lips.

Jared remembers arguing with Jensen about kissing, trying to explain why he liked it, why it was good. Jensen had said kissing was just a means to an end, just something people did because they wanted sex, and it was stupid to pretend it wasn't. Jared had pointed out he got sex from Jensen all the time, so that wasn't why he kissed him--he loves kissing Jensen. And Jensen understood that, once Jared pointed out that this isn't a one-night stand, isn't just about hooking up.

This is definitely pre-sex kissing, though.

"You really up for this?" asks Jared.

Jensen smirks and thrusts against Jared, his already hardening cock pressing against Jared's legs. "Definitely up for it."

Jared groans. "God, want you to fuck me," he says, before he can think about it. Jared had never let anyone fuck him before Jensen--not that he had anything about it, it had just never really happened. These days they mostly switch off, and Jared's happy to leave it to Jensen to decide, but right now, he wants to know Jensen is safe, and he wants to feel Jensen in him.

Judging by Jensen's groan, he doesn't object.

"Jared--" Jensen starts, but Jared cuts him off with another kiss and drags him back toward their bedroom. Heisenberg yips excitedly, jumps up on Jensen, and Jensen laughs as they both disentangle and take a minute to shower love on the dog.

"Missed you too, girl," says Jensen, scratching her behind her ears, and Jared thinks it's ridiculous how he can feel so fond of Jensen and so horny all at the same time.

Heisenberg runs around joyously and crashes into the couch; Jared is fairly sure that she is actually stupider than the average dog, although Jensen has yet to notice that.

They get her locked up in her room, and then Jared drags Jensen back and they're kissing again, sloppy and hot.

"Love you," says Jared into Jensen's mouth. "So fucking _scared_."

Jensen shoves Jared down on the bed, practically tears his clothes off. Jared runs his hands over Jensen's stomach, pushes down his jeans until they're both naked, slanted together.

They gave up using condoms about six months in, after they both got tested for everything. Jared's still not used to the feeling of Jensen inside him, no barriers, nothing between them. He loves it.

Jensen roots around the nightstand and finds the lube, slicks up his fingers and pushes one inside. Jared tries to relax--the first one is always weirdest for him, trying to remind his body he likes this. Jensen takes his time, making Jared squirm and pant and beg before he finally pushes in, and then he suddenly just--stops.

"Jensen," Jared whines. He pushes down, trying to make all the friction he needs himself.

"You want me to take your name?" asks Jensen.

"What?"

"Jensen Padalecki, or what?"

Jared groans. "Jensen, can you--fuck me? Please? Seriously. We can talk about this later."

Jensen's entire chest reddens when he blushes. "Yeah. Sorry."

Jensen is actually awesome at sex when he puts his mind to it--apparently all those calculations and shit really do work, because Jensen is also a sex genius. Jared's brain shorts out, just feels Jensen inside him, pushing into him, real and alive and his.

Jared comes first, Jensen hitting the perfect angle every time (he measured it with a protractor, of course) and jerking Jared off in perfect time with his thrusts, and Jensen comes inside him, which is like nothing else.

Jared slumps bonelessly against the mattress, waiting for Jensen to clean up and come back to the bed.

Jensen lies back down and Jared cuddles up next to him.

He's almost asleep when Jensen murmurs, "I love you, you know."

Jared doesn't open his eyes, just waits.

"I love you so much it's actually scary, you know? I get scared sometimes. Because--I always thought love was stupid and irrational because it makes people so different. They make choices they never would, choices they shouldn't. But I'd do anything for you, and it makes so much sense. Anything else seems crazy. I just get scared, because you're everything, man. You're relativity and quantum mechanics and string theory and--you're my whole world."

Jared leans down and kisses him. "Me too. I couldn't even--I didn't know what I'd do, you know? If you never woke up."

"I always thought marriage was stupid too. It can't last."

"There's tax benefits," says Jared, nuzzling his neck. "And medical ones."

Jensen tilts his head back. "So let's get married," he says.

Jared grins. "Yeah. Let's do that."

*

"Dude, this shit doesn't even make sense," says Chad.

"What doesn't?" asks Parker.

"Like, what good's it doing them to put people in comas? In the fucking beta?"

"They don't want to put paying customers in comas?" Parker suggests.

"Why're they putting anyone in a coma? It's not--fuckers!"

"Your friend woke up. Why are you still angry?"

"Cuz I want to kill their whole fucking company, and we can't til we work this thing out."

"It doesn't matter why," says Parker. "They're bad people. Bad people produce bad products to get more money faster."

"So what do we do?"

"I got a plan," says Hardison, showing up suddenly on the webcam.

"Your shirt is backward," says Parker.

"Huh," says Hardison. "Whatever. How's Sophie doing on shutting it down from the inside?"

"She's ready when we are," says Parker. "She can get rid of them whenever we want."

"Where's Nate?"

"Helping Sophie."

"I should probably be telling him this, huh."

"I'm here," says Nate, sliding in. "What have you got?"

"Jensen woke up," says Hardison. "The comas are caused by entering restricted areas--dunno why they've got those, maybe they don't know what's up either--and if they plug back into their headsets, they can log out."

"They're still logged in?" asks Nate.

"It's confusing," says Hardison.

"So what's your plan?"

"Oh, I get to make the plans now?"

"You're our expert in this field."

"Did you know your shirt is inside out?" asks Sophie.

"Yes," says Hardison. "So I got all the passwords here for the system admins, and e-mail addresses for everyone in the beta. I'm thinking we get the word out," he says. "Make it official-like, send it out from the company e-mail, but have the e-mail come back to me with information about anyone in comas. They report to us, we tell 'em the cure."

"What about people who don't have friends?" says Chad.

"What?" asks Nate.

"Some people in the beta gotta be in it on their own," Chad explains. "So nobody'd know if they were in a coma. How do we get them?"

"Ban logins?" suggests Hardison. "Nobody logs in, everyone who's left? They're in comas. We talk to them, sort them out ourselves."

"And what's CyberConnect going to do while we're doing this?" asks Nate. "What's your plan for that, Hardison?"

"Whoa, you're the one who covers corporation logistics. Can we wipe them out and keep the game open ourselves for a week or so?"

"I think I can work that out. You can do this in a week?"

"Please," says Hardison. "I can so do this."

"All right, we'll make the deal, you start sending out the e-mails and blocking off the game. Oh, and Hardison?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you're proud of your new sex life, but turn your damn shirt around."

*

Jensen had seen his mother briefly after waking up, but by the time he was being released it was very late and past everyone's bed time, so instead of spending a lot of time with her, he mostly went home and had sex with Jared and went to sleep.

He wants to find out more about Hardison's plans to destroy the CyberConnect company, but he knows he needs to spend time with his mother first.

"I could come," says Jared. He's leaning on Jensen's head, reading the newspaper over him. Jensen is fairly sure Jared just can't bring himself to leave Jensen alone.

"You could," says Jensen, leaning back to nuzzle Jared's neck. "But it makes more sense if you hear what Chad and Hardison have figured out. Besides, as soon as I tell my mother we're getting married, she's going to be excited and want to plan everything. I'm saving you."

Jared laughs. "I'm not scared of wedding planning, you know. Are you?"

Jensen shrugs. "If we're going to get married, we might as well do it right."

"Are you going to wear a dress?"

"No," says Jensen.

"Are you going to wear a Star Trek uniform?"

"Is it a theme wedding?"

"Ask your mom."

Jensen smiles. "I don't want you to not be there," he says. "I just want one of us to be at the meeting, and I don't think my mom would appreciate me ditching her."

Jared kisses the top of his head. "Give me a call when you're done, okay?"

"I will," Jensen assures him. He gets up and grabs his coat and Heisenberg's leash. "We'll be back."

It's a short drive to his mother's pet-friendly hotel, and Heisenberg sticks her head out the window, her mouth wide open. Jensen assumes this allows her to determine the speed of the car. Also, she can eat some bugs, which she finds delicious.

His mother is waiting outside, hugs him tight.

"I always knew those video games would kill you."

Jensen rolls his eyes, but hugs her back tightly. He doesn't say that she said they'd rot his brain, or that death and coma are not synonymous, because he knows it would make her sad and make nothing better.

"I'm sorry," he says instead. "I didn't mean to get everyone worried."

"Jensen, honey, do you know what happened?"

"I was investigating a restricted area. I haven't had a chance to take apart the hardware and find the problem."

"You're not going to play it again, are you?"

"No," he says, with genuine remorse. It's a pretty awesome game, when it's not putting him into a coma. "We're going to destroy the company."

His mother blinks. "What does--"

Jensen realizes he should not be talking about his less than legal plans with his mother. It's just--not a good idea. "Also, Jared and I are getting married."

"What? Jensen! That's wonderful!"

"He wanted to be able to visit me in the hospital. And there are tax benefits."

"And he loves you," she says, smiling.

"Yeah," says Jensen. "That too."

"Do you have a date yet? What season do you like? Religious ceremony?"

Jensen laughs. "Whatever Jared wants," he says, because--it's important to him, it is. He likes the idea of being married to Jared, and he _wants_ to be married to Jared. But he doesn't care how it happened. He'd be happy with a justice of the peace and a witness.

His mother smiles. "I hate having you so far away, you know," she says. "But baby, I'm so glad you're happy."

Heisenberg is drooling on Jensen's jeans, he's getting married, and his future husband is plotting to destroy a major video game developer to get revenge for him.

"Yeah," he says. "Really happy."

*

"Where's Jensen?" is the first thing Chad asks.

"Talking to his mom," says Jared. "He's gonna come over if he can, but she was pretty worried."

Chad wrinkles his nose. "I guess she gets to see him first, yeah."

Jared rolls his eyes. "You're such a giver, man."

"So what's the plan?" asks Gabe.

"We are now majority shareholders in CyberConnect. Hardison and Chad have taken over all their corporate accounts and e-mails. As of tomorrow, we are shutting down login privileges. We've sent out an e-mail asking users to inform us of comas. Our best guess is this is dead within a week," says Nate.

"Hey, that's a guarantee," says Hardison.

"Now, the only thing is--how do you feel like being compensated?" asks Nate.

"Compensated?" asks Jared.

"Think of it as suing, but without all the legal fees."

"And the laws," says Parker.

"You want to give us money?" asks Gabe.

"Can I get paid in trade?" asks Chad, leering at Parker.

"Parker is not for sale," says Nate.

"How much is he paying?" asks Parker.

Nate rubs his forehead. "Parker, please don't whore yourself out to Chad."

"We never really thought about money," says Jared.

"Well, we got all this money, and someone's gotta take it," says Hardison.

"We can take it," says Parker.

"No, no," says Jared. "We'll take it. I guess we could use some money for the wedding."

There's a pause.

"Wait, what?" says Sandy.

"I'm getting married," he says, flushing.

"To Jensen, right?" says Chad. "You're not, like, marrying a girl so she can have your gay babies or something, right?"

"That's not how surrogates work, Chad," says Jared. "We covered this."

"Well, it should."

"So you're marrying Jensen," says Sandy.

"Of course I'm marrying Jensen. Who else would I be marrying?"

"When did you--"

"I mean, it was kind of a done deal," says Jared. "Just we're gonna start planning and stuff."

Sandy squeals and hugs him, says she's so proud, and Gabe looks kind of awkward and confused.

Chad says, "Fuck this, Parker, you want to get married?"

Parker blinks. "Why me?"

"Who else in here's gonna marry me?" asks Chad.

"No one's going to marry you, Chad," says Nate.

"Hey, you have to know him, like, three months before you start telling him no one's going to marry him," says Jared.

"Fuck you all," says Chad. "Someday I'm gonna find love with a rich stripper and you're all gonna be jealous."

"I don't think most people are strippers when they're rich, Chad," says Jensen, slipping in behind Jared. Jared leans back against him automatically.

"Dude! You're better!" says Chad.

"You knew that," Jensen points out.

"Yeah, but--"

"We're glad you're back," says Gabe.

"You're talking," says Jensen.

Gabe flushes.

"Anyway," says Jared, "we could use some cash."

"You need a priest?" asks Hardison. "Cuz Nate does a pretty kickass job at that stuff."

"Hardison," says Nate.

"And I'm not a half bad DJ."

*

"This is so much less 3D," grumbles Chad.

"You're just pissed I'm kicking your ass," says Jared. "Heisenberg, stop eating the extension cord."

"She's experimenting," says Jensen.

"With what?" asks Jared.

"Energy."

"She's just hungry," says Sandy. "Loser gets her dinner."

"How are you so good at this game?" asks Chad. "You're not even into this stuff."

"I'm awesome," says Sandy. "I just have better things to do with my time than play video games."

"My girlfriend rocks," says Gabe, grinning.

Jensen is surprised by how much he missed having his friends around. He knew he did, of course, but it's surprisingly nice. He knows Jared is the only person he _needs_ , like he's incomplete without him, and he sort of figured he didn't care if anyone else was around.

"You should visit more," he says, before he's really thought about it.

"We are kind of rich now," says Jared. "And we have room up here. If you guys wanted to see us more."

"You miss us!" says Chad. "Ha, I knew it! You dudes are totally up here pining away and fighting off bears."

"It's like he lives in another universe," says Jared.

"You're just jealous because my universe is totally awesomer than yours. And cuz I'm going to become a ninja."

Jared rolls his eyes. "For the last time, Chad, dressing in black and yelling Hadouken does not make you a ninja."

Chad just smirks.

*

"Okay," says Nate, "our client is--"

Parker raises her hand. "I have someone here for the meeting."

"What?" says Nate. "Who?"

Parker smiles.

Chad sits down in an empty chair. "What up, bitches?"

Parker just looks back at Nate. "You were saying?"

"Well," says Nate, "this isn't good."


End file.
